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August 17, 2023

Financial Self-Care Is a Thing

By Wendy Wright, LMFT, Financial Therapist

When I read this article by Hannah Frye on mindbodygreen, I did a happy dance. Self-care is real, important, and helpful… and financial self-care is foundational if you want your self-care to be deeply effective. As Hannah explains, “Financial care should be a core part of your self-care routine, as it undoubtedly impacts your overall mental and physical well-being.”  In other words, you need to deal with the money clutter in your brain to allow more real space for self-care to sink in and help.

Now, let’s take a closer look at self-care and what it means.

Self-care is personal.

There are  a lot of ideas on “how to” practice self-care.  I hope you didn’t get discouraged if your favorite ways weren’t listed in Hannah’s article. Ultimately, it’s up to you what feels caring and restorative – and this is different for each of us. For me, I love to be in the mountains. Even better, I love to practice yoga at the mountain top! But if you are a beach person, you may crave the sound of the surf as you spend time journaling.

You may also be discouraged if you saw some of your favorite ideas recommended but have failed to feel nurtured or cared for when trying them out. Perhaps it’s because your anxious money thoughts interrupt your calm!

Self-care can be free or paid for.

One of my favorite cost-free self-care practices is to sit in my hammock chair and watch the clouds roll by. I also like to use an app to help me pause and breathe (I use iBreathe). Because I have participated in biofeedback sessions, I have seen in real time how pausing to breathe for a few minutes changes my body’s information system and downshifts it. It’s cool!

Also, I really enjoy nurture and care that is paid for, like a pedicure or meeting a friend for coffee. Sometimes, part of the ritual of care is the exchange of money I earned for the nurture. When my exchange of money has meaning attached, it increases the nurture and decreases anxious money thoughts. This also deepens the meaning to my earnings.

Self-care is really hard if you are freaking out about money the whole time.

Have you ever tried to take a walk in nature for self-care and instead ran through all your numbers over and over and over the whole time?

Have you ever met a friend for lunch and found yourself unable to pick from the menu because you were internally freaking out about the cost?

Have you ever tried a new pottery class and couldn’t stop intrusive worries about money bullying their way in?

Financial therapy is a form of self-care, but what is it?

Handling money anxiety with attention to the internal thoughts and feelings is a part of the financial therapy approach.  This intentional approach can help you begin a Money Mindset Shift, which is different from rearranging your spending to look “right.”

Let’s chat about this idea for a minute.

When you begin to apply my Principles of Financial Therapy to your relationship with money, there can be healing and nurturing. Just opening yourself up to the truth that money is highly emotional can shift your mindset from “I am stupid with money” to “I may be expressing emotions through money decisions.”  My first Principle is to approach money with Abundant Compassionate Curiosity and Zero Judgment, which means adding compassionate and kind language to your money dialog. Imagine that one shift during your next walk or meal out.

Here are some possible financial self-care scripts:

I can’t get out of this paycheck to paycheck cycle >>I am able to make changes in my relationship with money.

I just need more money >> I have enough money.

I am bad with money >> I am intuitive and capable with money.

I am stupid with money >>  I learn from my money experiences and forgive the past.

I am alone with money >> I can get support to help create more space for calm and clarity with my money.

I dont know where my money goes >>  I own my money, and can make my own decisions.

What new script would you like to apply during your next self-care practice? What shifts in your Money Mindset did you notice?  Please share!

Ready for your own shifts in your money mindset? Discover the first 3 steps today!

 

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