Can financial therapy help bring balance to your mind and emotions when it comes to your entrepreneurial endeavors? 

For today’s blog post, let’s consider how financial therapy can impact your business.

To start, consider the questions below:

• Do you find yourself agonizing over your business finances?
• Do you struggle to “turn off” anxious money thoughts?
• Does money take up more than 50 percent of all your brain space?
• When I ask if you have made a 2024 business plan, do you want to run away?

If you answered “yes” to any of the questions above, then I believe that financial therapy can help bring balance to your mind and emotions in your life as an entrepreneur.

In a recent episode of The Women Empower Podcast, host Bri Logue and I talk about the origins of financial therapy and why I built Financial Therapy Solutions to help women heal their relationship to money. We also have fun talking about my unique journey from Memphis to Denver, riding my bike around Elvis’ house, and some of my own financial roller coaster rides. 

As entrepreneurs, Bri and I talked about ways that my approach to financial therapy can impact your business and help soothe your business money mind.  

Your business money life often feels distinctly separate from your personal money life, as if there are two sets of money rules – those shoulds and should nots – for your business funds and personal funds.  This may seem confusing and unclear. Conversely, your business and personal money may feel chaotically tangled up, which can drain you emotionally and create a deep money fog.  

In my financial therapy business consultations, I take entrepreneurs through a series of questions that can help decrease fog and increase clarity. As an example of the work I do with my clients, take some time to journal your responses to the following questions:

• When I ask you if you know your top five key business numbers, what is your reaction –  in your mind, body, and emotions?
• What is the amount of money you need to bring to your home/family from your income sources?
• What is the amount of money you want to bring to your home/family from your income sources?
• Do you have a written business plan, with numbers, for the next 12 months?

None of these questions are magic, but they are good places to start. Each one can bring up big feelings. If you notice a big feeling – like fear, numbness, avoidance, joy, and/or excitement – write about them. This increased awareness can often help you get one step closer to more clarity in your business money mindset. That is why taking things one step at a time really helps.

Ready to get started? Book a discovery call with me now!

The post How Financial Therapy Can Impact Your Business appeared first on Financial Therapy Solutions.

As a financial therapist, I talk with clients every day about their relationship with money. I was in session a few weeks ago with a young couple when the holidays came up.

“Ugh, the holidays,” one of them groaned. The other nodded in agreement. I watched their body language change as they slumped in their seats, defeated. I considered this reaction. It was more than not feeling excited, it was like they felt helpless. I asked, “Do you feel like a victim of the holidays?” The answer was a resounding yes.

The couple was burdened by expectation and didn’t feel in control of their spending this time of year. I’ve had several clients who feel the same way. For many of us, the holidays can feel like an obligatory financial drain. Emotionally, we may feel the weight of cultural or family expectations to be joyful all season long. By accepting these expectations as our own, we feel out of control, helpless, and victim to the holiday season.

If this strikes a chord with you, you’re not alone—and you’re not a Scrooge.

The Holiday Fairy Tale

So much of the pain we feel around the holidays (and outside of them) can be caused by the distance between our expectations and reality. My clients were trying to meet expectations they assumed their kids held. It turned out this was not necessarily true—they recognized that their kids are so young they likely didn’t have any expectations at all. We realized they were internalizing expectations that bypassed their own values.

A common cultural expectation is that the holiday season is a magical time of year, when in reality it can also be painful. Yes, it’s wonderful to see family members we haven’t seen since last year, but it can also bring up unpleasant feelings of not being seen as we are now. If we’ve lost someone we love, the holidays can be an acute reminder of their absence. On top of that, the shorter, darker days and cold, grey winter weather can put a real damper on our mood.

A common cultural expectation is that the holiday season is a magical time of year, when in reality it can also be painful.

When it comes to our finances, the holidays can stir up pressure to spend money. We might get an idea of finding the “perfect gift” for our loved ones and feel confirmation of this notion through marketing and social media. Unfortunately, this “perfect gift” doesn’t really exist.

And when we can’t find it, it’s easy to compensate by buying more or focusing on dollar amounts. We may fixate on how much we “should” spend on each person. If we can’t afford that number, we might lean on our credit cards, saddling ourselves with debt just in time for the new year and the so-called fresh start.

This tension between rosy expectations and the practical reality is incredibly common. To get past it and unburden yourself from the pain of unmet expectations, we need to get to the root of what the holidays might be stirring up for each of us.

Heal Your Holiday Story

Think back to when you were a kid or a year you felt good. What were your favorite holiday traditions? What do you remember most fondly? What made the season feel magical and warm?

Exercise #1: Write a list of what’s important to you for the holidays. Think back to those positive memories. What’s the first warm and fuzzy thing that comes into your mind when you think about the holiday season?

Now think about this holiday season. What memories do you want to create? How do you want to have spent your time and money?

Exercise #2: When you look back on this year’s holiday season, what do you want to remember? How do you want to have spent your time and money? Make a list of what you’d like to do and assign each item a dollar amount. Note that some things might cost nothing at all.

Your answers to these questions may begin to inform your values. What did you notice that might bring you the most joy? Time with family and friends? Cooking a meal with people you love? Taking a winter nature walk?

With your answers in front of you, how does it feel to put down the “shoulds” and expectations and instead focus on what will fulfill you? Letting our intuition dictate how we spend time and money can result in decisions that align more closely with our values. By focusing on what matters to us, we may be able to hear our own voice more clearly. We may even feel in our bodies what we want rather than listening to outside sources for answers.

Letting our intuition dictate how we spend time and money can result in decisions that align more closely with our values.

In doing this exercise with my clients, they’re often surprised that what fulfills them most cost little or no money. This doesn’t mean that spending money on gifts is wrong. Quite the opposite: gift-giving can be a beautiful way to show someone you know them and care about them. It can be a love language.

Intuitive Holiday Shopping

To make gift-giving a beautiful experience for you and your loved ones, approach it with curiosity and non-judgement. Rather than creating a rigid holiday budget or setting an expectation of creating the perfect holiday with a gift, continue relying on your values and intuition.

Once you’ve realized that buying things for the people you love brings you joy, you put yourself back in the driver’s seat—you’re in charge of your money rather than the other way around. By using your intuition to come up with a plan for holiday shopping, you give yourself the opportunity to maintain control and focus on gift-giving as a beautiful act of love rather than something obligatory and materialistic.

Exercise #3: Open up your accounts and take an honest look at your finances. What do you intuitively feel you can spend on the holidays this year?

You can use your plan and your intuition as you purchase, too. Instead of looking for stuff your loved ones would like online or at the mall, you can spend some time beforehand thinking about what brings them joy. Head out with specific ideas in mind for gifts and experiences they’ll love.

Above all else, remember that it’s ok to not feel happy during the entire holiday season. It’s unrealistic for us to feel on cloud nine for three months just because of the calendar, and chances are, you’re not the only one.

Wishing you all an intuitive holiday season!

The post Healing Your Holiday Story appeared first on Financial Therapy Solutions.

You want to feel more confidence in your money management, money skills, and money life — and as a financial therapist, I want to help! 

With that thought in mind, let’s take a closer look at six signs of money confidence.  

To be honest, I hope these signs are not what you expected me to say. When we work on money during a financial therapy session, we go deeper than “just” filling out the next worksheet or doing whatever Google tells you to do.

Here we go! Note that this list is in no particular order.

1. Your body and breath are calm.

Remember that your physical health often represents your internal mindsets. When you feel confident about your money skills, your breathing is steady. Your body is aligned with a mindful, meditative state. You feel a sense of peace, as though you’re ready for whatever comes next. 

2. You have an automated system to follow.

When it comes to your financial decisions, you have a system that you understand and enjoy using. You don’t have to do so much mental math because you trust your method. I truly believe in the importance of a system —so much so that this concept is part of my training program, called The 10 Principles of Financial Therapy ©: Live from a plan, not your bank balance. 

3. You’ve got your own back when it comes to decision making.

In other words, you trust yourself. Your internal dialogue is full of compassion and kindness, and you have an attitude of learning. There’s no judgment or shame. Even better, you believe in your ability to problem solve when issues arise. Another one of my principles relates to abundant compassionate curiosity and zero judgment. This open mindset is crucial if you want to develop money confidence!

4. You feel as though you “own” your money.

No matter what is asked of you when it comes to your money, you know what is best for your finances. You don’t live in a constant state of brain fog and confusion. 

5. When you talk about money, either with yourself or a partner, you experience clarity, calmness, and connection.

Your communication — whether it’s spoken or written down — feels satisfying and productive. You feel grounded in your beliefs. 

6. You are comfortable making mistakes when it comes to your money.

Nothing in life is perfect, right? No matter how hard you work to improve your relationship to and understanding of money, you will face challenges. Chances are, you will experience a miscalculation or error of judgment at some point — and that’s okay! This acceptance increases your self-compassion and creates a spirit of learning. 

Now, let’s explore some financial scripts to help improve your money confidence:

I will never have make enough money. >> I can work with what I have and look for ways to increase my net income.

I just need to get out of debt. >> I know I will eliminate my debt because it’s part of my overall plan.

If I can just buy a second home, my mom/dad/whomever will know I made it. >> I can decide my own markers of success, regardless of external opinions.

I am so stupid! I need to get my sh*t together. >> I didn’t like how that went, but I am open to learning what I can do differently next time. I am okay with being imperfect.

Money confidence is as much a state of mind (or money mindset) as it is an amount.

It’s more than just making more money or having a certain number in your bank account. It’s more than being able to buy your dream house or car. It’s more than being out of debt. My Money Mindset Shift course can help you identify the mindsets that you’ve always had and discover ways to incrementally shift them towards the ones you want.

Want to learn more? Consider joining me for the Money Mindset Shift course! I’m also offering a Masterclass in October.

The post Six Signs of Money Confidence — According to a Financial Therapist appeared first on Financial Therapy Solutions.

Who is driving your money bus: you or your mindset?

What is a mindset? It’s defined by Merriam-Webster as “a mental attitude or inclination, a fixed state of mind” and by Wikipedia as “a mindset is an established set of attitudes of a person.” I, however, define it as “a belief that may or may not be a truth.”

Mindsets are powerful and often make decisions for you.  

Let’s use a silly example. If you have a mindset – a set of beliefs and attitudes – that dogs make the perfect pet, you may avoid, spend less time with, or not invite over someone who has a mindset that cats are the only good pet. You may wonder, “How could someone prefer cats to dogs?!” You may send them articles about the joys of puppy ownership in order to passively influence them to come over to your mindset. You may post memes about ways that dogs are better than cats! You might get a second dog, even though you weren’t really ready to do so, in order to prove your mindset is right.

Sure, this example is a bit ridiculous, but did it resonate? We want to notice and appreciate ways that a mindset can influence our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. As you see here, a mindset may drive the bus.  

A money mindset has a similar definition: a belief or a set of beliefs about money that may or may not be a truth.  

Have you ever taken a money mindset quiz? There are several out there. What did you think about your results? Take a moment to find a quiz and take it if you want. Then, write down a few sentences about how the results feel to you.  

I have expanded on this idea in the Money Mindset Shift course. I want to do more than just help you identify your mindsets; I want to help you make shifts in your money mindset to better serve you. I want you to be driving that proverbial bus!

Want to take a peek inside the Money Mindset Shift course? 

Here’s a look at one common money mindset and tips to shift it.

The Scarcity Mindset

Living in a Scarcity Mindset means it feels like there will never be enough. It can make the world feel like a terrifying place. Someone operating in a Scarcity Mindset may sacrifice their relationships for a fleeting sense of security—their feeling of scarcity is so great that they can’t see past their immediate needs. Existing in this mindset for a long period of time can leave people feeling deprived and can foster fear, leading to anxiety and insecurity. 

“In the mindset of scarcity, our relationship with money is an expression of fear.” 

Lynne Twist, Soul of Money 

People who have a  highly-rigid brain chemistry may tend towards a Scarcity Mindset about money. I recall clients expressing that they couldn’t afford something when they in fact had thousands of dollars in savings. Their instinct to not use resources — whether that meant not spending money or perhaps not eating food — was grounded in fear and shame rather than reality. 

→ Someone takes the first job they’re offered even if they’re incredibly overqualified. They feel it might be the last paycheck they’ll ever receive!

→ Someone doesn’t know when they’ll get another opportunity to eat a special or “forbidden” food, so they eat every morsel on their plate. 

→ Someone buys toilet paper every time they’re in the grocery store (whether or not they already have some at home) because the store may be out next week. 

Ask yourself: How often do you see yourself in this mindset on a scale of 1 to 10?

1          2          3          4          5          6          7          8          9          10

never                 sometimes                      often                      always

Compassion-Based Mindset: Sufficiency

The complement of the Scarcity Mindset is the Sufficiency Mindset. Someone operating from this context may think, “I can trust myself to meet my needs.” They may feel confident that there will be enough to go around. They may even realize that they won’t have everything they’ll ever want—and that’s ok. They’ll have enough. 

“Sufficiency is a context we bring forth from within that reminds us that if we look around us and within ourselves, we will find what we need. There is always enough.”

Lynne Twist, Soul of Money 

When we are able to live from the energy of sufficiency, we can see problems as learning opportunities, fears as messages instead of promises, and limits as creative guides. This energy helps us move from many all-or-nothing thoughts based in scarcity – from a thought like “I can never succeed” to “This path isn’t working for me, but I can trust that I’ll find another option.” 

→ Someone shifts from thinking “I can’t be happy until I make more money” to “I keep thinking I need to make more money no matter how much I have—I wonder what I can learn from this cycle.” 

→ Someone turns down a job because they didn’t feel valued, weren’t offered enough money, or knew they could find a better fit.  

→ Someone stops eating when they’re full, even if there’s plenty of food left on their plate, because they trust that they can sufficiently and consistently satisfy their hunger. 

Ask yourself: How often do you see yourself in this mindset on a scale of 1 to 10?

1          2          3          4          5          6          7          8          9          10

never                 sometimes                      often                      always

Journal Prompt: Shifting from Scarcity to Sufficiency

The first step to shift from a Scarcity Mindset to one of Sufficiency is increasing awareness of your current thoughts. Pull out your journal and think back to a time this week when you said or thought, “I can’t afford that” or “Only rich people do that.” Reflect on how that felt. 

Then ask yourself, “Is this statement a belief or a truth?” As always, remember to approach this answer with compassionate curiosity and nonjudgement. 

Typically, when faced with this question, we realize that it’s a belief that we can’t afford to purchase something. What we’re really saying is something like, “I’m not willing to trade for that.” 

Now, revisit the situation where you felt scarcity and try reframing your statement. Instead of saying “I can’t afford that,” ask yourself, “Am I willing to trade my time and money for that?” 

As you find yourself in this Scarcity Mindset over the next week, pull out your journal and reflect on how it feels to reframe these limiting statements into curious ones. 

Your money mindset may be defining your own ideas of financial success.

It may even be getting in the way of defining financial success or deciding that financial success is only for other people. Here are a few journal prompts for you to explore your money mindset:

• How would you define your money mindset?
• Have you ever written a definition of it?
  • Do it now.
  • Read it a few times. Is it your definition or someone else’s?
• Does your money mindset limit your definition of success? How so?

If this topic resonates with you, consider joining me for the Money Mindset Shift course!

The post The Impact of Your Money Mindset on Your Financial Success appeared first on Financial Therapy Solutions.

Money promises sound so good at the time, right? Promises like:

“I will get this organized and never fail again!” 

“I will get this debt paid off and never go into debt again!”

“I will get my s%!# together and never struggle again!”

I have made these kinds of money promises to myself – and you have too. 

I have broken them – just like you. In fact, we usually break them or see them break down within a day, month, or even a few months. Why? Because they aren’t promises; they are magical thoughts. Plans based on magical thoughts aren’t sustainable. No judgment here, because magical promises feel so good in the moment! If they didn’t, we wouldn’t repeat the cycle.

Before we go on, let’s pause for a compassionate deep breath. There is NO judgment here. I  want to take a closer look at the impact of your broken money promises so you  can begin to heal.  I am here with you. For real, no judgment. I imagine that’s a new approach for you and your money relationship!

Now, let’s dig into the cycle of broken money promises. 

You know what I am talking about. When a “promise” includes an absolute like never/always, it’s really a magical thought. It requires knowing the future and having a crystal ball, right? It’s ok if this idea feels familiar! We do it because it feels soothing at the time.

The more magical the promise and the more perfection-loaded the promise, the more likely it will crack. And with money, the cracks can show up quickly. Whether it’s 24 hours, 30 days, or 6 months, the statements below will begin to creep in:

• “Oh I forgot about this one last purchase I need to use the credit card for.”
• “Cuss! Cuss! We just paid off all our debt, and now, the air conditioner broke!”
• “Yikes, I forgot about this bill, and now, my budget is all messed up.”
• “Cuss word! I did the math wrong, and I can’t pay for that bill!”
• “I spent hours last weekend working on money. I need a weekend off!”
• “Ugh! I just want to enjoy this vacation. I will think about money stuff later.”

Ok, let’s pause for a compassionate deep breath – yes, another one. We’re going to start looking at these events differently. This is the financial therapy approach. This is the start of your Money Mindset Shift. Remember: The shift starts with scoops of compassion, understanding, kindness – and increased awareness.

Let’s start by increasing your awareness about the money stress you feel.

In my opinion, “stress” is a busy (and even overused) word. It is used to describe money A LOT! There are many kinds of money stress though.  Each type can have its own kind of remedy, so you want to get clear on what is trapping you into the cycle of money stress.

Types of money stress can be connected to different fears, such as:

• Fear of failure, which fuels constant vigilance
• Fear of being “found out” again, which fuels constant vigilance
• Fear of dropping a ball/forgetting something crucial, which fuels constant vigilance and shows up as repetitive thoughts/list making
• Belief that you are “bad” and shouldn’t even try, which fuels avoidance and can show up as distraction
• Belief that you are “bad” and should try even harder, which fuels (you guessed it!) more hypervigilance and can show up as repetitive/intrusive thoughts/list making and/or feeling like you are “always behind”

Did any of these ideas connect for you? Get more specific about the stress you are feeling and how it is showing up in your life. Use the companion journal page/prompts to paint a clearer picture of what you’re really feeling when “I am so stressed about money” pops into your thoughts. Let’s see what you notice.

Chances are, you’ve wondered why you continue to struggle with broken money promises. Why does the cycle repeat? 

You may have even asked yourself, “Why do I keep doing this to myself?!” It’s a good question to ask but difficult to answer. Let’s consider a few reasons why the money stress cycle repeats.  

First, remember that the magical promise feels good. Maybe you have experienced this sensation when you “finally” clean out the garage, the pantry, or a closet. You want it to never get messy again, right? And you feel relief when you promise to keep it protected and untouched. Maybe you invest in a nice velvet rope to keep the family out (wink, wink).

Regardless of your intentions, it rarely stays that way. It starts small – with one pair of shoes or a few extra bags of chips leftover from a party. You know the drill! Because the “new order of cleanliness” was built on a kind of time-binge, you don’t have regular time available to attend to it.  

So how do you stop this cycle when it’s related to money stress?  

It is so similar! Begin by compassionately admitting to yourself that it will stay imperfect. Yes, money stuff is never perfect. Yup, I know you wanted it to be. Big sigh.  

Next, create more awareness and less avoidance. You want to ultimately build a system that keeps you able to see what’s going on. But before you can get to this system, it’s crucial to explore what motivates any avoidance. We can do this together in the Money Mindset Shift.

Notice if you shift into “fight, flight, or freeze” when it comes to your money interactions.  This response means you’re stuck in the cycle. First, you make the big promise. Then, when it starts to crumble, you either turn up the obsessive thoughts and number crunching or turn the volume down to zero and make money decisions out of deep avoidance. Or you just watch 10 more episodes of your favorite show. Either way, you are re-acting, and we want to shift things so that you are pro-acting. With this new approach, you can relax when things happen in life because you have an adjustable plan.  

To close, let’s consider some scripts to change your internal dialog and decrease the cycle of broken money promises.

Go from [your repeated pattern] > to [a new way of thinking and acting]

From “I will never use my credit card again.” to “I will wait four days before using my credit card for a purchase that will increase my debt to foster pausing in my spending decisions.”

From “I will never eat out again.” to “I will keep some money set aside for a nurturing dining out meal and foster planning as a part of my spending..

From “I will save all of my next bonus check.” to “I will make a plan to put a percentage of my bonus towards savings and a percentage towards joy to foster balance in my spending.”

From “I will never loan money to friends again.” to “I will commit to a four-step accountability practice to slow my roll when a friend seems to need my money.”

Ready for your own shifts in your money mindset? Discover the first 3 steps today!

The post Locked in a Loop of Broken Money Promises? Why The Cycle of Money Stress Keeps Happening appeared first on Financial Therapy Solutions.

When I read this article by Hannah Frye on mindbodygreen, I did a happy dance. Self-care is real, important, and helpful… and financial self-care is foundational if you want your self-care to be deeply effective. As Hannah explains, “Financial care should be a core part of your self-care routine, as it undoubtedly impacts your overall mental and physical well-being.”  In other words, you need to deal with the money clutter in your brain to allow more real space for self-care to sink in and help.

Now, let’s take a closer look at self-care and what it means.

Self-care is personal.

There are  a lot of ideas on “how to” practice self-care.  I hope you didn’t get discouraged if your favorite ways weren’t listed in Hannah’s article. Ultimately, it’s up to you what feels caring and restorative – and this is different for each of us. For me, I love to be in the mountains. Even better, I love to practice yoga at the mountain top! But if you are a beach person, you may crave the sound of the surf as you spend time journaling.

You may also be discouraged if you saw some of your favorite ideas recommended but have failed to feel nurtured or cared for when trying them out. Perhaps it’s because your anxious money thoughts interrupt your calm!

Self-care can be free or paid for.

One of my favorite cost-free self-care practices is to sit in my hammock chair and watch the clouds roll by. I also like to use an app to help me pause and breathe (I use iBreathe). Because I have participated in biofeedback sessions, I have seen in real time how pausing to breathe for a few minutes changes my body’s information system and downshifts it. It’s cool!

Also, I really enjoy nurture and care that is paid for, like a pedicure or meeting a friend for coffee. Sometimes, part of the ritual of care is the exchange of money I earned for the nurture. When my exchange of money has meaning attached, it increases the nurture and decreases anxious money thoughts. This also deepens the meaning to my earnings.

Self-care is really hard if you are freaking out about money the whole time.

Have you ever tried to take a walk in nature for self-care and instead ran through all your numbers over and over and over the whole time?

Have you ever met a friend for lunch and found yourself unable to pick from the menu because you were internally freaking out about the cost?

Have you ever tried a new pottery class and couldn’t stop intrusive worries about money bullying their way in?

Financial therapy is a form of self-care, but what is it?

Handling money anxiety with attention to the internal thoughts and feelings is a part of the financial therapy approach.  This intentional approach can help you begin a Money Mindset Shift, which is different from rearranging your spending to look “right.”

Let’s chat about this idea for a minute.

When you begin to apply my Principles of Financial Therapy to your relationship with money, there can be healing and nurturing. Just opening yourself up to the truth that money is highly emotional can shift your mindset from “I am stupid with money” to “I may be expressing emotions through money decisions.”  My first Principle is to approach money with Abundant Compassionate Curiosity and Zero Judgment, which means adding compassionate and kind language to your money dialog. Imagine that one shift during your next walk or meal out.

Here are some possible financial self-care scripts:

I can’t get out of this paycheck to paycheck cycle >>I am able to make changes in my relationship with money.

I just need more money >> I have enough money.

I am bad with money >> I am intuitive and capable with money.

I am stupid with money >>  I learn from my money experiences and forgive the past.

I am alone with money >> I can get support to help create more space for calm and clarity with my money.

I dont know where my money goes >>  I own my money, and can make my own decisions.

What new script would you like to apply during your next self-care practice? What shifts in your Money Mindset did you notice?  Please share!

Ready for your own shifts in your money mindset? Discover the first 3 steps today!

The post Financial Self-Care Is a Thing appeared first on Financial Therapy Solutions.

Did you check out the recent This is Uncomfortable podcast episode? In this episode, I was asked to help a couple struggling with a recurring money conflict. We explored how to get “unstuck” and discussed new ways to approach money topics.  

To start, the couple named their “pain point”: They keep having the same fight about money.  

They were feeling stuck. Whenever this topic came up, they would have the same fight and get nowhere. They wanted to find a resolution, a way to move forward, but couldn’t see a way out or around it. You may be nodding your head and thinking “Yes, we have so been there!” This is where financial therapy can help.  

We applied three of my 10 Principles of Financial Therapy©, including:

• Apply abundant, compassionate curiosity and zero judgment.
• Take the word “money” out of the sentence.  
• Shift away from “good/bad” positioning with money.

Now, let’s dive a little deeper into each of these principles of financial therapy.

Apply abundant, compassionate curiosity and zero judgment.

The couple featured on the podcast did a great job of creating space for the first principle of my 10 Principles of Financial Therapy©: abundant, compassionate curiosity and zero judgment. This mindset allows more opportunity for active and creative listening.  I encourage you to try it today! It allows you to shift from a defender of your position to a detective of your partner’s heart and mind. It slows down that part of you that stops listening in order to form your next argument.  

Take the word “money” out of the sentence.

When you take the word “money” out of the sentence, you will often see the underlying issue.  It is often a fear – fear of loss of control, fear of not being important to your partner, fear of being seen as stupid, or fear of making a mistake. Once you know the deeper fear, you can begin to build in ways to comfort that fear that aren’t money related. This approach helps decrease the reactivity in a money chat.

Shift away from “good/bad” positioning with money.

This one is so important and powerful. Sometimes, couples will come to me for financial therapy with the hope that I will declare a “winner,” that one of them is “right” and “good”. I don’t. It doesn’t help, and in my experience, it isn’t a truth. 

Instead, we shift to rephrase the situation. Use sentences such as “What I like/don’t like about my money relationship is…” or “What I wish I had more of/less of in our money life is…”. Try this exercise today and journal about what you notice. Notice how your breathing may relax or your ability to maintain eye contact with your partner may increase. These are big wins!

Couples financial therapy is a unique tool.

Similar to individual financial therapy work, couples will come into financial therapy thinking we are going to tell them what not to do and how to be “better” with money. That is not the case! It can be surprising but helpful. I bet you’ve tried following the latest trend on Google for getting your money act together but can’t seem to get the traction you desire. Financial therapy comes into those stuck points, exploring what is under the surface.  

We don’t come in with rules or declaring a “winner.” Instead, we work to create a non-judging, neutral, and supportive place to talk about all the money stuff. 

Ready to get started? Book a discovery call with the Financial Therapy Solutions team today!

The post What the Heck is Couples Financial Therapy?! appeared first on Financial Therapy Solutions.

Many people recognize their struggles with money management or the negative feelings they associate with spending and saving, but they don’t know how to seek help. That’s where financial therapy comes in!

What Is Financial Therapy?

You may be wondering, “What exactly is financial therapy?” A relatively new field within the world of therapy, financial therapy combines financial counseling, money management support, and mental health treatments. Depending on your personal needs, it can be:

• a place to talk through your money story
• support for building a business plan that works
• an invitation to forgive yourself for past money decisions
• a place to talk about the emotional impact of inherited wealth

A financial therapist can help you better understand how money shows up in your life. It goes beyond simply focusing on budgets, goals, and retirement plans and instead looks at the way you think, feel, and behave with your money. With the proper help, you can overcome the roadblocks that make it difficult for you to make smart financial decisions and move towards long-term, sustainable solutions. 

Do I Need Financial Therapy?

Your next question may be, “Well, how do I know if I need financial therapy?” To be honest, I believe that everyone can benefit from financial therapy. As a good starting point, I suggest asking yourself a few questions like:

Would it be helpful to have a judgment-free zone to talk about money?

Would I benefit from more understanding of my money patterns and behaviors? 

How do I define my relationship with money?

If you’re looking for more tangible exercises to complete, consider the two ideas below.

First, rename one of your bank accounts to reflect a future goal. 

I believe that, when you connect emotionally to your savings, you’re more likely to save. Even better, research supports this idea! Klontz conducted a study and saw people’s savings rates increase by up to 73 percent when they got fully and emotionally engaged in why they were setting money aside. 

So if you want to take your family to Disney World in the next three years, name it, “Disney World 2025.” If you’re focused on paying off your student loans, call it, “A Debt-Free Me.” Now, every time you open up your bank accounts, you’ll have a visual reminder — a guard rail, if you will — to keep you on track. 

Next, track your expenses. 

Rather than adding them to a digital spreadsheet, write them down by hand. (Download a copy of my tracking worksheet bundle now!) This practice helps you truly recognize and acknowledge each purchase. Include the item, the cost, the emotion behind the purchase, and how it made you feel. See if the reason why you bought something matches the post-purchase feelings it gives you. 

Do these questions and exercises resonate with you? It may be time to further explore financial therapy and the impact it can have on your life. Book a discovery call with a member of the Financial Therapy Solutions team.

The Team at Financial Therapy Solutions

Speaking of our team, I’m excited to share that we’re continuing to grow! We now have a team of therapists trained in my 10 Principles of Financial Therapy©. The focus of our group practice is to guide our clients through the intersection of money and emotions, helping them reach and maintain their financial goals. We approach each session with zero judgment and abundant, compassionate curiosity. The team is available for telehealth sessions. 

For more financial therapy tips and recommendations, join my mailing list! Sign up today and receive my free, downloadable workbook, “Get the Life You Want With the Money You Have.”

The post How Financial Therapy Can Change Your Life appeared first on Financial Therapy Solutions.

I’m thrilled to share my recent interview with The Pledgettes, a community of women who takes an active role in their finances in an effort to close the gender wealth gap. They focus on making value-aligned decisions towards individual financial goals — because when more women take individual action concerning their money, the collective impact grows.

Your Financial A-Team

This past spring, they discussed the five types of people you need on your Financial A-Team. It should include:

• Growth Partners: These licensed professionals help you identify your goals and develop strategies to reach them. They give you a safe space to talk about your wins and failures as you plot a path to financial freedom. 
• Connectors: We all have an outgoing friend or two who makes you feel like you can talk about anything. Chances are, they are happy to discuss finances with you — especially since money shouldn’t be a taboo topic! Start the conversation, and you’ll be amazed at what you learn. 
• Mentors and Mentees: Find people who are 10 steps ahead of your financially as well as 10 steps behind you. Ask questions about how they got to where they are or what their future goals are. You’ll feel both inspired and motivated.
• High-Five Tribe: This group of friends is simply there to support and celebrate your achievements. You may be working towards different goals, but the important thing is that you all believe everyone can reach financial success.
• Diverse Thinkers: These are the risk-takers who know all about cryptocurrency and Sacred Economics. Learn from their different perspectives and experiences!

As a financial therapist, I fall into the bucket of Growth Partners. During my interview with The Pledgettes, we discussed my work, my thoughts on Big Financial Goals, the members of my own Financial A-Team, and so much more! Check out the full interview here.

Master Your Money Workgroup

Are you ready to make 2022 your best year yet? Consider joining my upcoming Master Your Money workgroup, set to begin in January 2022. This six-month program involves one 90-minute session per month with expert guidance and one-on-one help. During this workgroup, you’ll learn how to get out of debt, save money, grow your business, and reach financial success. Plus, you’ll be working with a supportive group of people like yourself, all using your newfound knowledge and tools to bring about real change to your relationships with money.

I hope you’ll join us for the upcoming Master Your Money workgroup and start the new year strong! You can reach out to wendy@financialtherapysolutions.com with questions.

The post The Role of Financial Therapist on Your Financial A-Team appeared first on Financial Therapy Solutions.

As we enter the last quarter of the year (!), it’s important for small business owners to get grounded in their own numbers and identify their money milestones. Maybe you want to wrap up a project and ensure that you have time for a new one come January. Maybe your focus is hitting your annual revenue goal. Or maybe you just want to see how 2021 compares to the ups-and-downs of 2020. Whatever the reason, it’s normal to feel some pressure to finish on a high note before the holidays. 

So what do you need in order to meet your money milestones? Let’s take a look at some financial therapy tools that have worked wonders for other small business owners!

Know Your Numbers

I know it may seem like a no-brainer, but it isn’t uncommon for a small business owner to experience avoidance, overwhelm, guilt, or shame when trying to get closer to their numbers. Think about the following questions:

• Do you know your monthly expenses? 
• Do you know how much you make each month? 
• What are your periodic expenses for the year, divided over 12 months? 

Although it may be emotional, using this opportunity to get closer to your money has long-lasting, positive effects, including increased confidence and security in your business. Do you feel like you already have these elements locked in? Consider the 50-30-20 budget rule for your business versus your personal expenses. As a driven professional, this exercise can be a thought-provoking way to heal your relationship to money.

Rename Your Accounts

It’s amazing to see the shifts that happen when business owners rename their accounts to something that has more emotional buy-in. How different would it feel to see a savings account named “Vacation to Hawaii” or an account that says “Dream Home” when putting money aside each month? How would it feel to rename a credit card to “Life-Changing Trip to Italy” rather than “Credit Card Debt?” This simple but powerful pivot in how we think and feel about our money can make all the difference in staying committed to our savings goals or our debt reduction plan. 

Talk About Money

This tip may seem strange, and yet, talking about money continues to be a taboo conversation for many people. Maybe it was discouraged in your family. Maybe it leads to a visceral reaction to talk about money with your partner, spouse, or business partner, which has caused fighting in the past. However, in order to heal your money story, you have to get close to it and talk about it. 

To be clear, I’m not suggesting you go around saying, “I can’t afford ______.” That’s a self-limiting belief that we have all been caught saying to ourselves. I’m talking about taking the power out of money by making it a more casual conversation. Perhaps it’s celebrating a milestone with a colleague you trust. Or having what Bari Tessler calls a Money Date with your partner or spouse to check in on your goals. 

Revisit Your Money Milestones Monthly

Lastly, once you start the work of knowing your numbers, don’t forget about them! The work of money healing is not a one-and-done process. You have to check-in once in a while. So what would it be like to schedule a money date with yourself? Some ideas include: 

• Running a P&L for your business 
• Reviewing your bank statements to see what you made this month 
• Utilizing a tool like TillerHQ, MoneyGrit., or YNAB, all of which give you a snapshot of your month 

There are plenty of possibilities here, so discover what works for you and go for it.

Master Your Money Workgroup

I hope these tools are as impactful for you as they’ve been for other brave small business owners who wished to redefine their wealth, worth, and work-life balance. These ideas are just the tip of the iceberg of what financial therapy can offer.

If you feel inspired, intimidated, or just want the accountability of doing this work with someone who can offer the safe space and compassion to create a difference, consider joining our upcoming Master Your Money workgroup, set to begin in January 2022. This six-month program involves one 90-minute session per month with expert guidance and one-on-one help. During this workgroup, you’ll learn how to get out of debt, save money, grow your practice, and gain financial freedom. Plus, you’ll be working with a supportive group of entrepreneurs like yourself, all using your newfound knowledge and tools to bring about real change to your businesses. 

Khara Croswaite Brindle is a Certified Financial Therapist-Level I Professional and a contracted therapist with Financial Therapy Solutions.

I hope you’ll join us for the upcoming Master Your Money workgroup and start the new year strong! You can reach out to wendy@financialtherapysolutions.com with questions.

The post Meeting Your Money Milestones appeared first on Financial Therapy Solutions.