The Intersection of Money and Milkshakes
By Wendy Wright, LMFT, Financial Therapist
What do money and milkshakes have in common? They both can give you a brain freeze!
They can also seem to bring you pain and suffering when they feel out of balance.
You may have struggled at times to understand why you repeat things. Why you return to the use of a credit card after paying off debt and promising yourself “I will never be in debt again!”.
You may find yourself binging on food again today, even though this morning you promised yourself “I will lose 10 pounds today!”. You may have been in tears, absorbing the reality that you haven’t made the changes you promised you would.
I am here to offer another way to look at this, a way that I witness helping others.
When I was working primarily with those struggling with eating disorders, I began to notice some similar statements showing up with my patients and clients that intrigued me.
I began to notice many of them would use the same sentences to describe how they were interacting with money as they had been with food, body or exercise.
Some, for instance, might turn to shopping. Deciding on purchases that would “help me not feel so fat”, “help me fit in”, “help me be accepted by others”, when they are decreasing binging/purging.
These were the same things they would say about why they used binging/purging to manage emotions.
Others might share how they feel. They “never have enough money” and show up with rigidity around money management. This mirrored their rigidity around food and exercise management.
There were others who shared stories of feeling overwhelmed about spending or saving. They never felt they did it “right”. These were the same clients who would restrict foods because they could never find the “right” food to eat.
And in all these, for those suffering from severe disorders, there is a sense that catastrophe lies ahead if the “wrong” decision is made.
This parallel relationship is real! And naming it can bring about real relief!
Consider some of these similarities between money and food:
- Both money and food have many transactions [decisions] every day!
- Both money and food have to be consistently used even while working on healing and improving your relationship to them.
- Both money and food decisions can have morality assigned to what appears to be “bad” choices
- Both money and food issues are better healed with compassion than with shame and judgment.
Once you are able to see these thoughts show up in more than one arena of your life, it can help move you away from certain beliefs. Such as “I am stupid about money”, “I am powerless to stop binging”, “I am too lazy to change”.
Once you are aware that these patterns show up with both money and food, you are able to work on the underlying issues that are really at work. And then you have more awareness, more clarity, and can gain more traction in healing and changing.
Thanks for reading! If this resonates with you, and you would like to pay more personalized attention to your own relationship with food and money, you can connect with me here to set up a Free Discovery Call or a session.
