What do money and milkshakes have in common? They both can give you a brain freeze!

They can also seem to bring you pain and suffering when they feel out of balance.

You may have struggled at times to understand why you repeat things. Why you return to the use of a credit card after paying off debt and promising yourself “I will never be in debt again!”.

You may find yourself binging on food again today, even though this morning you promised yourself “I will lose 10 pounds today!”. You may have been in tears, absorbing the reality that you haven’t made the changes you promised you would.

I am here to offer another way to look at this, a way that I witness helping others.

When I was working primarily with those struggling with eating disorders, I began to notice some similar statements showing up with my patients and clients that intrigued me.

I began to notice many of them would use the same sentences to describe how they were interacting with money as they had been with food, body or exercise.

Some, for instance, might turn to shopping. Deciding on purchases that would “help me not feel so fat”, “help me fit in”, “help me be accepted by others”, when they are decreasing binging/purging.

These were the same things they would say about why they used binging/purging to manage emotions.

Others might share how they feel. They “never have enough money” and show up with rigidity around money management. This mirrored their rigidity around food and exercise management.

There were others who shared stories of feeling overwhelmed about spending or saving. They never felt they did it “right”. These were the same clients who would restrict foods because they could never find the “right” food to eat.

And in all these, for those suffering from severe disorders, there is a sense that catastrophe lies ahead if the “wrong” decision is made.

This parallel relationship is real! And naming it can bring about real relief!

Consider some of these similarities between money and food:

• Both money and food have many transactions [decisions] every day!
• Both money and food have to be consistently used even while working on healing and improving your relationship to them.
• Both money and food decisions can have morality assigned to what appears to be “bad” choices
• Both money and food issues are better healed with compassion than with shame and judgment.

Once you are able to see these thoughts show up in more than one arena of your life, it can help move you away from certain beliefs. Such as “I am stupid about money”, “I am powerless to stop binging”, “I am too lazy to change”.

Once you are aware that these patterns show up with both money and food, you are able to work on the underlying issues that are really at work. And then you have more awareness, more clarity, and can gain more traction in healing and changing.

Thanks for reading! If this resonates with you, and you would like to pay more personalized attention to your own relationship with food and money, you can connect with me here to set up a Free Discovery Call or a session.

The post The Intersection of Money and Milkshakes appeared first on Financial Therapy Solutions.

The phrase “unprecedented times” keeps popping up for me as I ponder the events that will define 2020 for all of us. Events – and the lack of events – surround us that are new in so many ways. However, there is an element you have seen before, and that is your own coping style.

What I find helpful here is pausing, taking a breath, and allowing yourself a chance to name these coping styles with compassionate curiosity instead of judgment.

This can be an element of certainty amidst so much uncertainty. This can be an element that brings comfort (such as settling into a favorite chair with a book,) or fear (such as seeing yourself engaging in a binge cycle of eating, shopping, gambling, sleeping, yelling, etc.) If you are familiar with my blogs or articles – or in session with me – I hope you hear this approach 100s of times.

I mean it! I don’t mind if you hear it so much you begin to predict that I am about to say it! That would be amazing!

increase understanding with compassionate curiosity

Try it on and notice how it feels to reflect upon a behavior: a transaction, or a conversation that troubled you. Reflect upon it first with that inner critic that judges you.

Then, take an intentional breath and reflect upon it with compassion and curiosity, allowing space to notice 3 or 4 things about that event in an energy of non-judgment. What often happens is there is more room to gain insight, breathe more fully, and create space for change.

It is in that spirit that I am taking this time to bring to you a special 5 day journey through my foundational practice to create space for healing, which I call “Breathe, Intend, Move.”

This series is built on prompts to promote healing in your money story, and it’s easily adapted to bring healing to your own area of focus by practicing compassionate curiosity.

[Learn More About My 5 Day Guide Here!]

compassionate curiosity is a routine, not a cure

Perhaps you are craving healing and change in your relationship with food, or with people in your life you love.

Feel free to add in your own prompts using your own life experience as the base. And looking at your money life with a therapeutic lens is a new experience, then definitely use these prompts as written. This could be your first step of real change in a frustrating, anxiety-ridden, fear-based, and maybe embarrassing relationship with money.

My hope is that this helps you deepen your exploration into your experience, increase your kindness to yourself and others, and decrease reactive judgments. If you want, please let me know about your journey through these prompts with an email. I really want to know how it impacts you and your life.

If you feel ready to deepen the experience with sessions, you can book directly here.

I can’t tell you how much adopting this frame for my own life has changed and healed my own spirit. The impact has been real, and measurable. I encourage you to try.

Warmly,
Wendy

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The post the impact of Decision Styles on our Money and Food Lives appeared first on Financial Therapy Solutions.